Kaci's Kaos

  

As I sit here in solitude... (well until my youngest showed up) I bask in the silence, and reflect on this idea of mine to start a blog. 

Who really cares about my day to day life? 

Yeah there are funny moments, and yeah I need to vent somehow, but mostly who cares about a mom fighting pain to be with her kids? 

Who cares that sometimes my pain is go great that I can barely function? 

Or that some nights I don't get to sleep at all?

Who really cares that I don't want my kids to only remember my pain when they get older?

Or that I can't do somethings with them because of pain.

Who really cares about the limitations I have because my body won't cooperate?

Some days I can't enjoy my hobbies because my hands won't cooperate, or I can't stand as long as I'd like.

I'd love to be able to bake with my children and teach them to love to cook, if only my body would allow it.

I know there are so many out there who have a harder life than I, I feel for them.

I just wish that those who say they love me would be bale to understand what I deal with.

I don't need advice on what I should do, or how losing weight would help.

Unless you have a medical degree or you have been where I am, 

just be supportive, don't advise unless I ask.

I am not ungrateful, don't miss understand, I have a good life that is interrupted by pain, but I am thankful for my good life all the same.

I am thankful that I have wonderful, loving, compassionate, and kind children.

I am thankful that I have a husband who tries so hard to understand.

I am thankful for those who care enough to try to advise (even if it doesn't help).

Mostly I am thankful that despite my pain I woke up this morning with time to reflect.

I am thankful for my pain at times simply because it makes me appreciate my life so much more.

Hugs and love,

When you have fibromyalgia there never seems to be enough time to do everything you want to do, or if there is time your pain cuts down you ability to do everything.

Now that being said, I have a lot of hobbies. I like to read, cook, knit, crochet, sew, garden, and make digital signature tags using Paint Shop Pro or Photo Shop. I wish I had the time and energy to do them all often, but there are never enough hours in the day. So I pick and choose which I do whenever I have time. This week so far it has been reading, crocheting and making a tag.

I've decide to share my hobbies here with doses  of my life. Yeah I have a boring life that some of you will be able to relate to, but others won't be interested in. I tried to plant some flowers I bought today, I only got a couple in before the storms started, so I will try after the storms are done. My boys helped me dig and were disappointed when the thunder started LOL. My youngest was mad that we had to come inside, but thunder and lightning made continued planting a no go. He loves to dance in the rain with me; when there is a soft rain on a warm day there is nothing better than dancing with you child in the rain. I think it helps to teach them to enjoy small moments in life, and to appreciate what you have. Of course my husband thinks I'm crazy, but hey he's the one who married me, so what does that make him?

I've been surfing the web so I think I' gonna bake some donuts (I got two donut pans), not sure yet, depends on how I feel. If not donuts hen I will bake some butter cookies. My family love home baked goods, so it is a good thing I like to bake. OOOOOO maybe I'll make Thumbprint cookies. Homemade pizza is on the agenda tomorrow as well. found a new crust recipe to try. so I will rest tonight and bake tomorrow.

So I will stop back by later, so you can compare my boring life to yours. Yeah I know we shouldn't compare ourselves, but really we all do anyway. I teach my children to not compare themselves to each other, yet they ignore me and do it anyway. Not only do they compare themselves to each other, they compare themselves to their friends. Now being the children of a biracial mother, and an african american father it makes it hard on them, as they don't fit into either category, in their minds. I let them know that they are perfectly perfect being themselves, and that no one can be them. So while I talk about my boring life it is still perfectly perfect for me.

I don't figure anyone cares much about my craziness, but I decided to make notes on my life.

Don't misunderstand this is not a complaint about my life, just some things that make my life crazy but wonderful.

Today was a great day, but I found that my usual trip to the beauty shop for my bi-weekly time of relaxation and girl time in my testosterone filled life. I had to take my boys with me for their hair cuts. I will do it differently next time LOL. It wasn't my usual girl time, but they enjoyed the constant Mommie can I,  Mommie I want, Mommie he's touching me.

 They it was come back home and clean up and deal with the constant I want to watch tv rather than pick the books up, or the can I play xbox, or I wanna play Legos, or the dog following me everywhere to the point that I tripped over him twice. I fixed him though, he was scarce once I turned on the vacuum. I love summer and being around my kids, but I already long for school to be back in session LOL.

T-ball was our next adventure, my eight year old decided he had to take a bunch of Legos to the game for him and his buddy to play with during the game. But my five (almost six) year old had a great game and is becoming a great player. The 88+ degree humid atmosphere of the ballpark was exhausting, but a giant popsicle helped.  Home again for a late but light dinner and I'm ready for bed, but of course the little energy siphoning midgets are raring to go. So here I sit writing my first blog about my boring, yet chaotic life. The husband thing has gone to bed because has to go to work tomorrow, and I sit here on the computer and mentally plan my day tomorrow. 

I sometimes wonder if I am the only stay at home mom in the world that has no clue on how to plan my day to day activity, and still be productive and calm. Relaxation time doesn't seem to be high on my list these days, but sometime my Fibromyalgia makes resting the only thing possible. Today was a very good day, for the most part. I had minimal pain, although I did have a bout of fatigue, and a slight headache that required a power nap, and Tylenol. Well I'm  herding the wild things off to bed now, it may require a whip, and some duct tape. Have a good night out there happy surfers.